When parents act unreasonably

May is phone-call month: most of the people in my family and also a good number of friends (and also my husband) decided they had to be born in May. 
How blame them?After June, this is a perfect month to come to the world.
Point is that I don't quite like phone-calls; if it wasn't for the kids I'd probably feel entitled to just call my family once a month. 
Why?
Because sometimes, talking with my mom, I have the impression she's got so many more important things to do...
"Sorry, I got to go out with my friends" or "Ok, now I'll do something useful" or "The pan is on the stove and my roast-beef must be burning" are some of the typical sentences my mom would use to quit our conversations. 
As if she was annoyed and as if I would be calling her every day.

Hey, what's the matter???

One of the things that make me hate calling is that she would always mention how much space our house has. What???
Did she see that?Nope.
Did I ever tell her we have a huge house?Nope.

Just because we were living in an apartment in Berlin, this doesn't mean that now we have lot more space. Not at all!
True, we have an upper floor, which we don't use because we don't need more bedrooms. Unless we have guests.
And it seems to me she is pissed because even though we have "so much room" she isn't our guest. That's ridiculous. And unfair!
I spent more than a phone-call trying to convince her to come over but no, no, no...excuses after excuses she doesn't want to.
What can I do about it?I won't be able to have her and someone else (because this is what she needs, someone to hang out with while I am busy doing something else). And this all "If you could just have come back sooner" doesn't sound so true. It sounds more like "At least, when you are in Berlin you can come over every two or three months and I don't have to do the effort to come visit myself".

Guess it wouldn't make sense to have an argument with her (which is a favorite past time when we spend more than one hour together) and trying even more to convince her to come over wouldn't bring much.

I suppose my sister would have a more reasonable opinion on the matter, but me...I don't get it.
And in the end I am ok...well, at least I wouldn't have too feel guilty in case she's either bored or too tired or just not interested in doing things other than turning my underpants on the drying line so they can be dry faster - I don't do that, why should my mother do it?!!!
And no, I don't give a damn if the lamp has dust, as long as my brain hasn't!!!

So, when next week I'll call home to congratulate my dad I'll certainly have a more interesting conversation.

Comments

alessia said…
Quando per colpa di una mamma un po' sui generis come la nostra sei in preda dell'esasperazione più totale, pensa solo a due parole:
ZIA LUIGINA
May 23, 2010 at 7:37 AM
Mari said…
giá...almeno non dobbiamo sentirci come un quadro di Monch.
May 23, 2010 at 10:25 AM
Elisa @ Globetrotting in Heels said…
Ah, girl... you don't know my mother, so just trust me on this: I SO hear you!!
May 23, 2010 at 2:14 PM
Mari said…
I had thought I was an exception... But as my sister pointed out we can consider us quite lucky...
May 23, 2010 at 7:17 PM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Thoughts about Pregnancy

No revelation here: I am not thinking about having a third child!!! A dear friend of mine on LI is going to have her second child; the due date is around mid-January, which means I am not going to see the baby. This is triggering a lot of feelings of course. In the first place because I know how a pregnant woman feels about babies: suddenly there is nothing more important, more beautiful, more precious and delicate than your child, even if it's just as big as a tennis ball and even if it makes you feel sick from morning to evening or tired as if constantly jet-legged. Or too sensitive or just freaked out. Even pathetic at times. When a good friend has a baby, I respect her need for rest but I am very glad to get to see her and the new-born and maybe do something together that might help her feel not too lonely without making her too tired. It's a very intense and very emotional phase of a woman's life. And I AM NOT GOING TO BE THERE. It is clear to me that - at least i...
Read more

Mattete!!!

Image
We are packing again. Tomorrow we will leave for Japan: Ralph has a meeting in Kobe and we are following him. The weather doesn't seem to be too good, with some tropical storms and winds, but it will hopefully get better. ...of course I am happy, but the idea of SUCH a long flight is terrifying. Guess I will have to relax and just post again when I am there, since it might really appear to you it's more a torture than a pleasure. Japan is one of the countries I love most. I love Japanese people, food, sights, colors, language, sounds - yeah, some might even be disgusting, but they are part of the fun. Besides, I have tons of good memories related to Japan; lot of dear friends (I know, some might argue a friend is someone you see very often, but me...no, I don't have such friends). The photo above was taken six years ago, in front of the Pacific Ocean, in Chigasaki. eeeeee...... Last, but not least, I met Ralph in Japan.
Read more

When parents act unreasonably - kids teach them a lesson

I wrote in a prevoius post about how sometimes my parents act nonsense . Well, this time the nonsense is about me. As a parent I am more than once in a while VERY tired: nights are interrupted, no time for myself, appointments to which I might not necessarily wish to attend.  Anyway, there is some project going on to which I can't say no anymore (promise, promise!) and I need that precious quiet time between throwing pebbles in the water and chasing after my little Messner or fighting about just anything with my daughter. So I feel kind of stressed and sometimes this just comes out as a river of tears that I can't really justify - also, listening to some pathetic songs doesn't help. Kids are very quiet in those moments and show their best "Why on hell is this woman crying? Must be because she didn't get the chocolate she so much wanted !!!" sorry look. Of course kids know better. As we were walking to the beach couple of days ago, Carlotta - always looking...
Read more